Saturday, August 24, 2013

Whips, Chains, and....Cohabitation?

Ever have one of those mornings where you wake up with drool hanging around, your hair is demolished, you're hungover (or maybe still a little drunk), you have a strange pain in a strange spot and there are sex toys laying about?  "Dang, it must have been a good night!!"

Now comes the next question:  is that your main squeeze snoring away or are you trying to find ways to exit the bed and room without waking the beast next to you....let's assume it's your squeeze, Coyote Ugly is a whole other blog.

When did you realize your honey, your main squeeze, the love of your life was compatible?  Was it the first date?  The first kiss?  The one year anniversary?  People connect on several different levels, emotional, physical, mental....we all crave connection.  Once that initial connection happens if things are going as planned the rest falls into place.  Of course we go through lots of trial periods, talking with folks, sleeping with folks, spending hours on the phone becoming "just friends".  But when do we find that sweet spot?  That meld between lust and love...and why does it seem to disappear after marriage or long term cohabitation?

It's been said men want a Madonna in the kitchen and whore in the bedroom.  That's somewhat true I'm sure, but we all know that's not always possible to achieve.  You can't always make a good girl a freak, just as a freak may not always be a good girl.  Chances are, if she's willing to wear a dog collar in public for you, she may not be mommy dearest or Betty Crocker.  (yes there are exceptions to every rule).  There are plenty of people who don't care if you can only cook from a box, just as long as you can throw it on them just right after dinner.  And of course there's the classic:  staunch mom, won't to do certain things because she's a mother, there are some men with same thought process.  There's a line from Analyze That with Robert De Niro:

 'Freud's a sick fucker and so are you for bringing it up,' says Vitti of the Oedipus Complex, adding: 'Have you ever seen my mother?' Explaining to the fastidious Sobol why he needs a mistress to perform acts he won't have his wife do, Vitti says: 'That's the mouth she kisses my kids with - are you crazy?'

Well, if there are things you won't do you keep your man/significant other happy?  I'm sure there's the requisite birthday blow job, or the "Christmas special"...but what about the rest of the year?  So many folks are possessive and worried that their mate might stray...well...give'em something to come home to.  Show a little something while your cooking and let him/her sneak up on you...who cares if the kids are in the next room...what would you rather, children who see coldness and dissension between their parents or children who learn what love and sex are from the right source, i.e. not the TV or playground.  In the old days, tribal people lived in tents and close quarter housing.  Families often slept in one big room.  How do you suppose those parents begat all those kids tending their fields and livestock?  And how do you suppose those kids learned how to make babies themselves after they were married off?

We have a Purtitanistic way of looking at love and sex in this "modern" society.  I have known so many that prefer to show their children violence on TV than love or sex scenes.  I might be somewhat "out there" when I'm in public, but I maintain a modest air.  At home???  That's a whole other ballgame cuz.  It's behind my own closed doors.  If I want to swing from the ceiling fan tonight, well guess what...that ceiling fan was installed with reinforced bolts, hooks, and beams.  I have always been of the mind, if the cat is happy, the cat doesn't fine a new mouse.  But.  If the cat doesn't get the right amount of strokin'...the kitty is gonna stroll.

So, this is my point.  Don't ever believe that because you are married, involved, attached, got kids, tired, or overworked that you can't put on a pair of thigh high boots...a thong...a swing...a boa...or a rabbit.  Do. Your. Thing.  If it is consensual, both parties are into it, there's a safe word, or a reinforced bed, Do. Your. Thing.  Keep that man, woman, or tranny happy.  That bliss is part of the glue that makes a good couple great.

Don't ever be ashamed of what happens in your bedroom.  You can be that Madonna, that suit by day and by night, with the mother or father of your children, you can still be that freak behind closed doors.  If you trust that person to help raise your kids or share your checkbook, why not trust them to know you like glass toys and fuzzy handcuffs?  If they run screaming, you either A. didn't tell them early enough, or B. didn't tie'em down tight enough.

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