|Courtney Stodden pre-marriage to Doug Hutchison|
It would be easy for me to sit here and rage and blame patriarchal religions for the downfall of feminine love, but I won't, there's a lot more to it than that. In the first 10 years of a childs life, their behavior patterns are learned, there are very few inherent behaviors. Most inherent patterns are survival patterns, the rest they pick up from us as we react to them during their lives. Did you ever have a grandmother or aunt tell you, "Don't gasp or run to pick her up when she falls down, she won't cry if you don't react to it that way". That's entirely true. A baby doesn't know that falling down is a bad thing till we express it to them. All the know is, "hey, I'm not standing up anymore and my tush feels a little different".... Children don't know the difference between boys and girls until they are old enough to hide behind the closet door and take a peek at Cousin Andy. Even then, they don't know *why* they're different, they don't know until we start talking about "you're my little man!" and "girls don't play with those".
|Courtney and her 51 year old husband a year later.|
So, where do we go from here. Can we start by teaching our girl children that, no matter which way their sexual preferences go, they are sacred and need to treat their bodies as such? They need to hold themselves and the boys/girls they date to higher standard? What can we do to cast sex back into a sacred light, not have it be a good time arrangement that is over far too quickly and means nothing? How can we make them understand that rape and molestation have nothing to do with sex? It's about control and it's not the victims fault. On that same hand we have to make sure our girls know: you NEVER falsly accuse someone of rape, it's wrong and an insult to those who have suffered it. Sex is supposed to be a deeply spiritual situation, that's why virgins get attached to their first, why women use it to get love and why men use love to get sex. Yes, we are basic creatures biologically, so by all means have as much of it as you can get your hands on--but understand the act itself. Understand that it's not a toy to play with.
|1980's Madonna "Boy Toy"|
Forgive me if I got preachy with this one, but something, SOMETHING has got to give. We are literally killing our daughters because they don't know they are something more than just a boy toy. We, as mothers, also have to remember...they are watching every. single. move we make.